Manuscript finished

HELP me name my book!

Here’s the synposis of my book for women who want impact. It answers these questions: What really trips us up? How to join and stay at the decision-making level? How to be valued and rewarded for what we contribute? Help me name it.

Isn’t it astonishing that there are still so few women at the level where they can really make a diffference, whether it’s in politics, management, business, technology or science, security, the media or arts? Not to forget pay gaps and the like. This, despite the mountains of money our progressive Western world invests to change this situation.

When I returned to Europe after two decades as a news correspondent in the Middle East, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Ever since I set up a life & leadership coaching practice in Brussels, my clients tend to be women who want impact and are ready to roll up their sleeves. At the same time, however, they often freeze when opportunities arise. This intrigued me.

Through them, I started recognising some of this behavior in myself as well.

I decided to get to the bottom of it.


The result? A book that proposes a new frame in which to think about ourselves: the We-mind and the Me-mind. Linking together different strands of science and my own observations and experiences, the concept explains why so many highly driven people – not only, but mainly women – feel held back by an invisible force, and what to do about it.

Here is a synposis:

We all have a We-mind and a Me-mind. One of the two leads, the other follows. On the whole, women tend to be more We-minded and men more Me-minded. The degree to how We- or Me-minded we are is unique to each one of us.

As the name suggests, the We-mind has as its primary focus the well-being of the group, even if that is at its own expense. The Me-mind has its own well-being at heart and may be ready to pursue this at the expense of others.

Many of the ‘flaws’ women are told they need to overcome in order to be successful, are in fact We-minded life strategies. These are misunderstood and not valued. Much more than gender, the issue is how we use our mind.

People who are dominantly We-minded are more likely to struggle with what I call an inner glass ceiling. That is the topic of my next book. Here, I already briefly explain why that is the case.

In this book I show how the We-mind and the Me-mind have different strategies for goal-setting, problem-solving, conducting business, communication, approaching leadership, conflict and other areas of life.

I argue that:

  • as a society we value the Me-minded characteristics and take the We-minded ones for granted, or even look down on them. That is not only the root cause of the infamous glass ceiling. It’s also why we keep trying to turn We-minded people into Me-minded ones and (subconsciously) block them from contributing their true value.
  • people who are primarily We-minded do not feel at home in a Me-minded world.  Most of our professional fields are Me-minded. This, for example, explains why so many We-minded people struggle with impostorism.
  • many We-minded ways of being are wrongly considered to be pitfalls in our modern, professional world. The insights in this book will help driven people who feel held back by an invisible force break free and unlock their full potential. As a result, the stalling number of women in leadership may start rising.
  • to make sure that more women reach the decision-making level and stay there, we need to make those places more We-minded. Indirectly and slowly this is starting to happen. The framework of this book provides more clarity for how to go about it.
  • more We-minded leadership is good for the planet. We need to redefine success.

The book ends with some examples of We-minded ways of doing business and leading countries. The reader is invited to help reset the balance in this wrongly weighted world.


Writing a book is a lot like having a baby. First, you carry the idea inside you. Then, you start drafting. Visible only to you, the text develops. And then, all of a sudden, the gestation is over. Your book is born.

Like a baby, a new book also needs a name. It will go by for the rest of its life. I want it to have the best possible title. That’s why I’d love you to help me name this baby.

Now that you know broadly what it is about, which title suits it best, you think?

  1. The We-mind and the Me-mind: a new paradigm for success in leadership and life
  2. Unlocked: the We-mind and the Me-mind
  3. The We-mind and the Me-mind: moving from ill at ease to inner peace

Please, let me know: do you like 1, 2 or 3?

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